An Escort's Transformation
Experiences
Honest Wisdom that can benefit Providers and our Culture
Belle - A Niagara Falls Escort (http://www.niagarasbelle.com)who
gets wonderful reviews as a complete women and experiences that are often deeper
than just sex, writes in her blog about her transformation via escorting her
very personal experiences in the industry and a great deal of honest wisdom.
I have excepted some of her comments which I think are helpful for providers,
customers and society overall to hear (read)!
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Escorting vs. typical view of "prostitution"
Escorting is an outlet to capture and release the essence of human sexuality. It
is erotica and sensuality, a little on the risqué side perhaps but fun. It is
safe in that there are no expectations but a wonderful time to be shared. Is
that so wrong?
Before you condemn me, see my world through my eyes. Don't feel pity for me for
what I do but be happy that I experience all that I do. Do not pray for me to
break free from this lifestyle but pray for yourself that you have a chance to
set your sexuality free. And most importantly, don’t feel that because you are
paying for my services that you have the right to treat me as you feel just. I
respect myself and stand up for my chosen profession.
I kiss men in a way that some have never felt. They are my lover for the time
that we are together. We experience together a most amazing connection. I give
to them a renewed sense of themselves. They give to me the pleasure of having
satisfied and at times satisfied myself. I leave smiling and so do they. I offer
them companionship and intimacy. Yes, it is paid for but that does not make it
any less sincere.
(Dave notes this is similar to my many comments about "love
for the moment" in swinging and in sexwork which is far different from "falling
in love" but is for the moment a caring "love" for the moment of the wonderful
soul you are interacting with. Even if only for an hour and if you are paying
for their time together).
Call me a whore, a prostitute or a slut and you condemn yourself as well. They
are names, and while they are unpleasant they do not hurt me as their meanings
are only attached to them by ignorance. I know I will never change how society
views myself and others like me. But it will never make me any less proud of
what I do or more importantly, who I am.
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Society and Sex
The “outsider’s” view on the adult entertainment industry is quite negative, but
just why is that? Dirty, disgusting, rank, filthy, unlawful and just plain sick.
We’ve all heard it, we all know what they think. We all go to great lengths to
protect our identity from them. Our actions discreet and our lies abundant. But
why do we feel that need to hide what we do when, if attacked publicly we are so
quick to defend?
We laugh at the politicians that try to condemn us. We ridicule the ones that
are so closed minded they themselves cannot see the beauty in what we do. But
yet we do not share our interests with our neighbors, nor our closest friends.
Why is society as a whole unable to accept the concept of sharing sex and what a
beautiful thing that is to share?
It had been my understanding that even in the earliest days, group sex or
swapping of your mates was considered a “neighborly” social event. Sex was to be
admired, appreciated perhaps even so well liked it was worshipped. Just where
did things go wrong?
I find it hard to believe that we were created so beautiful and sensual to not
enjoy our bodies, to not be expected to touch each other, ravish one another and
be intertwined in human flesh. We are the only animal in the kingdom that seeks
sexual involvement for pure gratification. Don’t you think it was meant to be
that way? We were wired that way so why shouldn’t it be? So why do most feel
that sex is to be only shared between a man and his wife? How has it become that
sex is viewed as something dirty when, in my opinion there could be nothing more
pure!
Some say that woman’s rights and the whole movement of women and their equality
in this world has thus made a stand for women in the sex trade. That we are
abused, demoralized and that the men using our services are contributing to the
degradation of women. Unfortunately, even in this day and age there are women
forced to work the streets, forced to live a life of prostitution. I am not here
to appear ignorant that these things do not go on but I can only speak of my
experiences in this business. These men are your doctors, your bosses and your
neighbors. They run companies like Microsoft and GM, they are your relatives and
your husbands. They are wonderful people looking for wonderful experiences. The
women, they are professionals too. They are bosses, they are soccer moms, PTA
members. They have other jobs, they may not. They have morals, intelligence and
it just so happens……..they really like sex!
In my time in this business I likely will not see the day that I will be
comfortable enough to flaunt what I do, to tell my neighbors and my friends just
what a wonderful experience this has been for me. But it does not make me any
less proud of what I do. I can only thank the men for treating me as well as
they have, for giving to me as I give to them. No matter what society may think,
this for me, will always be about just that…..giving.
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Be True to Yourself
Many women in this business are willing to sacrifice all that they believe in
for the sake of a dollar. I see that as a sign of weakness and insecurity. It is
ok to say no, to let others know that there are some things you do not enjoy or
make you uncomfortable. A good time can be had by all and yet not involve making
sacrifices. I feel it is not my job to give a client everything he asks for but
to join him in a mutually satisfying experience. I feel that for him to enjoy, I
have to be enjoying too. You can’t fake that each and every time without being
called on it.
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How view of men changed:
"How has your view of men changed in the past year?" Men are pigs. That is how I
truly viewed them 10 months ago. Not to say that some are not, but I now have a
better understanding of them today. Truthfully, I see very little difference
(aside from physically) between the men I have seen and myself.
They want to feel needed, sexy, wanted. It's not about them touching you, they
also want to be touched. They can be very passionate, even romantic! Some men
have brought candles, chocolates, plants and flowers. They have hearts and they
feel just as women do. I am surprised that while it is my "duty" to take
interest in them, they take interst in me without feeling the need to. I know
they expect that from me (no, I do not consider it a duty but I do know it is
expected) but for them to take interest in my health, my life....that truly does
amaze me. Very few men in my life have ever cared what I thought or complimented
me the way these men have. Because of them my life has changed. These men are
strangers and yet they take the time to make me smile. That is a wonderful gift
so if anything, I appreciate them for what they give to me.
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What am I worth - What should I charge?
When I first went Independent my very first thought was….”What am I going to
charge”? If it is too high then guys will rant and rave that I have become too
big for this business. Too low and then it’s that I am in desperate need of cash
and will take anything. The safe route……..keep my rates the same as they would
be if they were to see me through the agency!
I think price goes hand in hand with respect. Sounds crazy but here is what I
mean. If I charge $100/hr and most indy’s charge $160/hr then to me it would
seem as though I do not respect myself enough to ask what the “going rate” would
be. Without sounding stereotypical I find that by charging market rates my
clientele is also much more mature and respectful. And by the same standard, if
I request $500/hr it would appear that I have let the wonderful reviews go
straight to my head and deserve to have my bubble burst!
So, when my previous agency raises their rates, so shall I. It to me is the
safest way to handle such a sensitive issue. I had considered keeping my rates a
little lower than the agency thinking this would be a good business strategy on
my part. I figured, if an agency’s rates are $160/hr and the lady only receives
$100 of that then that is what I should charge, $100. What I didn’t think about
is that while I do not have an agency to advertise for me, I now have to cover
my own. No, I do not have a yellow pages ad but I do have a cell phone bill.
That plus my vehicle maintenance and gas, time spent with emails/calls,
clothing, nails and hair and blah, blah, blah. It does all add up!
So, as I had posted in my first announcement about becoming an Independent, my
rates will remain the same as the agency. Now, if they have a special, so will
I. If they go up so will I, and if they go down, so will I. Hmmm, that sounds
fun! So, $170/hr it is. Am I worth it? Not too sure but I can honestly say that
the gentlemen I see respect me and treat me very well and they have continued to
see me through leaving an agency and my rate increase. I am very happy with
that!
Dave notes that in Canada there are no up pricing or tip scams. Honest full
pricing of around $170-$180/hr in much of Southern Ontario and about $200-250 in
Toronto. Full price and this is in $CDN so about 12% less when convert from $US
(use to be almost 40% discount). No legal risk premiums like in the U.S. since
private consenting adult outcall has never been a legal issue in Canada, nor in
most of the world except in the U.S.
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Newbie Men
Newbies. You now what I’m talking about. They’re the real shy ones that sit on
the end of the bed and fidget with the sheets, their feet shuffling, their heads
down. They’re horny as hell but have no idea how to handle the situation. They
wait for you to initiate the conversation and only seem to know how to say “Yes”
or “No” like they are being interrogated at a crime scene.
These are the fun ones! You can feel them out right away, this is where knowing
people and how to read them comes into play! I like to play shy at first too,
let them get a little warmed up to what is going on. A little chit chat about
the weather and then it’s on to the task at hand! I usually point out their
shyness, just to make it more awkward for them. I move slightly forward, put a
hand on their leg and start my journey. It is very quick that I meet his lips
with mine. This tends to loosen them up fairly quickly. I know it will be my job
to lead the way, and I like having that control. I spend much more time focusing
on the kiss here. It is imperative that it is passionate, soft and not
intimidating. I sometimes have to take their hands in mine and guide them to my
body. I touch his face, run my hand down the back of his neck and across his
shoulders.
When I work my way down to his chest I know just what he is waiting for. I like
to tease, to not give in until I know it has become a need, not a want. I stop
here. I may ask him to undress me, slowly, with passion and longing. First my
shirt, they always start with the shirt! How disappointing I must be for some!
(has nice small breasts) But I believe in saving the best for last. Standing in
front of him I guide my nipple to his wet lips. I like to watch him play,
taunting me with his tongue. A kiss follows. This time a little harder, faster,
wetter. I remove his shirt to feel our skin touch. His heat, my heat. He relaxes
some and will usually not be too shy to go for the button on my pants. If he
moves too fast I will ask him to slow down. This is a moment to be caught up in,
not race past.
He kisses my belly, I can feel his hair whisp across my nipples. I step out of
my pants, leaving them at the foot of the bed. It is my turn. I gently place my
hands on his chest and while kissing him I lean him onto the bed, his feet
resting on the floor. His eyes are closed, the shyness still in him. I undo his
belt, his zipper. My tongue caressing his stomach. I work his pants to his
ankles and leave them next to mine. I slowly slither above him, my knees on the
bed, straddling him and lower myself onto him. I am wet and I finally feel his
need for me. I slide up then down, side to side sharing my wetness with his
thighs, The kiss that says it all. It’s hard and fast, panting, grinding.
We move to a more comfortable position in the bed and I grab the cover. It is
seldom I need a lubrication as the passion I get to experience creates such a
natural flow. I take him in my mouth. The first-timers need a lot of talent
here. You don’t want to disappoint them by having them come too soon.
Slow and soft I tease his inner thighs. The shaft gets my attention. He is hard,
so hard it looks like it hurts. I know he wants to release the pressure but I
will make him wait just a little longer. I run my fingers up and down his legs
and across his stomach. This experience is all for him but I get so much out of
it. There is no personal gratification like pleasing a man! Finally I decide to
end his suffering. First the head. My lips wrapped around and my tongue teasing
I begin and finish with the same furiousness. I love to watch a man come, to see
his face as he releases. I pay close attention to how his breathing changes, the
subtle grunts he makes. A truly erotic experience for me!
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http://belles-blog.blogspot.com
When I asked her permission to publish these excerpts she says:
I have no qualms at all about you posting any excerpts from my blog any any site or through any medium you choose. I have had several people approach me with the same question and I just simply ask that it be for a positive purpose, not to be attacked by the person posting it. I write about the things I do in the hopes of opening up "society" to the perception that yes, we are respectful, intelligent people and our chosen career does not have to be exploitive. Thanks for sharing your interest and I hope you get some positive feedback!
We also discussed plans to meet in about a week when I return again to Niagara Falls Canada.
Her blog has many other helpful interesting posts for example the decision to go
independent vs. work for agency, her thoughts and experiences reading reviews and
much more.
I believe her honest sharing can help especially newer providers feel the
positive empowerment the business can provide, the positive sexual outlook with
sexwork the caring needed profession it is, It should be praised not made dirty.
Most escorts are intelligent real people that care
about their clients and the business. They are not street hookers on drugs, with
pimps, they were not abused, they are not desperate - they choose their pleasure
sharing career even with the negative society views and in the U.S. morality
laws that server no legitimate purpose other than appeasing the feminists and
religious right.
In the U.S. the laws result in wasting huge amounts of police and court
resources chasing breasts and wonderful pleasure providers vs crimes that have
victims and criminals with those nasty guns that go bang instead of soft nice
breasts and female bodies willing to pleasure share that benefits a culture in
many ways.
Of course I am not promoting anything that is sadly illegal in the U.S. due to
our sick enforced morality that misses the beauty of sensual sexuality. Unlike
in Canada, In the U.S. escorts only provide companionship for a fee, nothing
sexual.
In the U.S. unlike most of the world it is illegal to pay for good sexual
experiences, therefore I only promote legal companionship and there should be no
payment or expectation of payment for anything sexual. In the U.S. unlike most
of the world that moralists that know what is best for you force their morality
of citizens by anti sex laws. We have to look to the rest of the world to enjoy
sexual freedom from oppressive laws that have no justification other than to
impose a specific morality on all citizens.