The women's shelter...........The Dark Side
We've talked mostly about the fun and glamour side of prostitution in
general. There is a dark and seamy side as well. That lowest slab of the
pyramid.
This area is composed mostly of runaways, drug addicts, retarded kids, generally
desperate people. Some have children, some obviously don't. The one common
denominator is none should be where she is. All are afraid to be anywhere else.
They also give the profession a bad name. From a public perspective, sadly, all
women from the lowest of the low all the way to courtesan are viewed as the
same. Very unfair.
Annie started an outreach for her shelter nearly thirty years ago. She viewed
these castoff women as people in need of help. I remember the fifteen who was
beaten with a wire clothes hanger because she didn't turn enough tricks for her
pimp. She was a runaway who had hooked with this creep when she arrived on a
bus. He had whipped her back and punched her breasts. Through the cooperation of
the police and a state agency she was allowed to stay until her wounds healed
and she received counseling. Unfortunately her parents didn't want her and she
didn't want to return either. She wound up in a state home and we lost track of
her in a couple of years.
She had been punished severely by her pimp for some time but she was afraid to
go to the police because she feared arrest for prostitution. This is just one
instance where our prostitution laws are totally useless. They protect no one
and do immeasurable harm to real victims.
Our laws against pedophile are a sham as well. Yes, a child must be protected
and nothing should occur between people without consent. Under the law Annie's
brother broke the law. The older alterboy I had an experience did as well. Ditto
for my first woman. I'm glad those events occurred. They were good experiences
for each of us. It is interesting that a teacher can expose children to all
sorts of information in health class including how to perform different
homosexual and heterosexual acts but a parent doing so can be in legal jeopardy.
When we taught our children too abstain as long as possible from vaginal
intercourse (until they were old enough to take the pill) she recommended oral
and manual stimulation. We also taught them masturbation was a good thing as
well. She demonstrated ways to do these things.
Our home is a three story home with the bedrooms on the second and third. In
those areas clothing is optional. As a matter of fact rarely worn unless we are
heading downstairs or out. As they grew children's natural curiosity has led
them to explore and compare body parts. Since I was the only male they were
quite curious about "that thing." At no time was the body considered dirty. Even
though we often wear cotton under pants for hygienic reasons there was enough
total nudity that there was never a sense of shame.
We answered all their questions in ways they could understand. We have a guest
room in the cellar. It's really a sexual function room. As they grew the girls
were permitted to retreat there with their dates for private moments. Respect
for one another is the key to a harmonious existence. Most anything two people
do with consent is tolerated (and encouraged). Our daughters return home often,
sometimes with their boyfriends or husbands and children. Fortunately, not all
at once.
The young women who have pimps and work the barrooms never had this type of
start.
One of the most interesting things
ever to happen to Annie and me:
The following occurred around 1990. Until a few years ago I took business trips
which were a couple of days to two weeks in duration. I was away about a week
when I returned a day early so I stopped by the shelter on my way home from the
airport. I thought I might be able to take Annie to lunch. Frankly I couldn't
wait to see her. After all these years I still missed her from the moment we
were apart.
When I arrived she was in a counseling session so I waited in her office. She
had a portable phone (the old Motorola lunch box type) there. The only people
with her phone number were family members, her best Johns, and the emergency
people at the shelter. She was on call twenty-four hours a day in each
profession.
I answered the phone when it rang, there was a woman's voice at the other end.
She asked for who I was so I told her Annie's husband. Annie being married
seemed to surprise the voice on the other end so I asked who she was. She
answered Mrs. Roger ********. There was a very long pause when I finally spoke
up. I asked if I could take a message. She was flustered at this point. I
recognized the man's name and realized this is the wife of a John. I feared the
worst. Usually Johns' wives are not happy people. This one didn't seem angry
though. Suddenly she began to talk and mentioned they had been married over
twenty-five years, had three older children, were happily married, loved one
another very much, she went on and on. Finally she blurted out she had known of
the arrangements Roger and Annie had. She understood why he went to a
prostitute. Because she was not at all sexually motivated and she would like to
spend some time with Annie to maybe learn something that might interest Roger.
Wow!
Just then Annie came into the office. I gave her the phone and told her who was
on the line and why. Cool and charming as ever Annie spoke with her. After an
exchange Annie agreed to meet her at our home since that's where she had
entertained Roger there a couple of times when I was away and the other woman
was familiar with the neighborhood. I did not take part in the meeting which
lasted about an hour.
When it was over the two acted like two old friends. They were holding hands as
they entered the kitchen (we spend most of our family social time there) and
Annie made a formal introduction. Suzy is a beautiful, well conditioned woman
for someone her age (50?). Wavy silvery hair, smooth complexion, moderate
breasts and slender legs (I size up women the moment I meet them). "Good looking
chick," I thought.
Right out of the blue Suzy told me what a wonderful woman Annie is. I agreed.
During the next few days spent some time together. At heart Suzy is lesbian and
never before understood the sexual implications of it. I know she and Annie had
some intimate moments. She also taught Suzy some of the things Roger like,
especially oral sex. She admitted she didn't mind at all doing these things for
Roger. Roger knew Annie enjoyed being with a woman sometimes but I don't know if
he knew right away about Annie and Suzy's relationship. Since that time the four
of us have had some wonderful evenings together. Every so often either Suzy or
Annie push Roger and I into doing things together. I think since we have the
excuse of doing it for the girls we accept it. I know Suzy has spent time with a
couple of our daughters who are also bi.
A phone call which could have been a real sour experience turned into a fun
relationship. BTW, Suzy has learned the oral arts well from Annie.
The next story does not have a happy ending.
Tough story..........
I've been trying to find some way to discuss the saddest series of events but it
still tugs at our emotions greatly. It is about a young runaway girl, fourteen
at the time, who fell in love with a pimp who picked her up at a bus station.
She was a virgin at the time and was trying to escape a terrible home situation.
The pimp had intercepted her at the bus station. She had little money, one
change of clothing and toiletries which she carried in an oversized handbag.
Her escape from home had not been well planned. Her Mom was a druggie and lived
with an equally loathsome person. They knew all the schemes of how to milk the
welfare system. The man was physically abusive of her mother and had made many
unwanted sexual advances toward her as well. Her torment came to a head when the
boyfriend told her mother that she had made advances on him. Her Mom beat her
severely. That night she stole all the money in the house (not very much, less
than a hundred dollars), packed her handbag with a set of clothes and left in
the middle of the night. The next morning she purchased a bus tick to our city
(she lived in a large city as well). She obviously had a bewildered and
disheveled appearance when she arrived at the terminal. To a pimp the sight of
her was like blood in the water for a shark.
He approached her, took her to lunch, and was generally charming. He offered her
to stay with him until she could find a place of her own. She accepted. When she
arrived she found a few other girls living in his apartment, three to a room.
By this time she was frightened and traumatized by the events of the last
twenty-four hours. The pimp told her she could sleep in his bed while he was out
for the evening with the other girls. They all returned shortly after midnight.
The young girl was in bed when the pimp entered. He offered her a massage to
relax her, and within a short time had taken her virginity. She was afraid to
resist.
The next morning he informed her she could stay with him for as long as she
pleased but had to be able to earn some money to help with household expenses.
She said she had never had a job and was not skilled in anything in particular.
He told her he would teach her. In the presence of the other girls he brought
two kitchen chairs side by side, had here sit beside him, placed his hand behind
her neck and told her they were in the front seat of a car or the back seat of a
taxi.
After opening the fly of his boxer shorts he pulled her head down and forced her
to have oral sex on him. The other girls and the pimp laughed at her when she
choked on his penis and got a special thrill of watching her gag on his semen.
She was told that was all she had to do and she would be paid $20 each time. It
took only a few minutes. He told her he would pay her a portion of the proceeds.
That of course was a lie. That night she went with a few men and brought back
about $100. She learned that was not enough and was warned tomorrow night she
needed to do better.
It was that first night she was introduced to marijuana and cheap wine. By the
end of the week she was frightened beyond anything that had happened at home.
About two weeks into her odyssey she threw up on a John. The pimp saw her do it.
He ripped an antenna from a car and beat her severely. Blood showed through her
blouse on her breasts and back. A policeman saw what had happened, chased the
pimp away and took her to the hospital. She refused to say anything to either
the police or medical people.
The policeman was a regular visitor to Annie. He knew of her double life and
called her to see if she could help with the girl. She was brought from the
hospital to the shelter where she was met by one of the staff and was allowed to
bathe, but that was to difficult because of the open welts. Eventually she was
cleaned up and given a warm cotton sweat suit to wear.
The following morning Annie began to deal with her. I don't recall what they did
but in a few days she was beginning to respond in a positive way. However, she
continued to resist identifying herself, where she was from, who the pimp was,
nothing. After a few weeks she was ordered by a judge into a state foster
agency. We lost complete contact with her at that point. About a year later we
learned she committed suicide. We don't know the circumstances but Annie said
she many demons she needed to deal with and they may have been too overwhelming.
One of the things she had revealed to Annie was her fear of saying anything
about the prostitution to the police and feared the pimp, if he was in trouble,
would finger her with the police. If prostitution was not against the law she
may have revealed what took place and had the pimp locked up for a long time for
rape and other charges. Her fear of returning home was as great as her fear of
the pimp.
Annie says she was a sweet kid and very intelligent. The limited testing she had
done on her placed her in the top ten percentile for her age. This is remarkable
for someone in such circumstances. Annie says sometimes school work and homework
are a diversion so girls like her sometimes totally immerse themselves in
anything that shuts out their rotten circumstances.
I think when we discuss prostitution we must be mindful that the prohibition
laws against prostitution have consequences. We've met very few street girls who
are happy in any way. It is a last resort for them.