The women's shelter...........The Dark Side

We've talked mostly about the fun and glamour side of prostitution in general. There is a dark and seamy side as well. That lowest slab of the pyramid.

This area is composed mostly of runaways, drug addicts, retarded kids, generally desperate people. Some have children, some obviously don't. The one common denominator is none should be where she is. All are afraid to be anywhere else. They also give the profession a bad name. From a public perspective, sadly, all women from the lowest of the low all the way to courtesan are viewed as the same. Very unfair.

Annie started an outreach for her shelter nearly thirty years ago. She viewed these castoff women as people in need of help. I remember the fifteen who was beaten with a wire clothes hanger because she didn't turn enough tricks for her pimp. She was a runaway who had hooked with this creep when she arrived on a bus. He had whipped her back and punched her breasts. Through the cooperation of the police and a state agency she was allowed to stay until her wounds healed and she received counseling. Unfortunately her parents didn't want her and she didn't want to return either. She wound up in a state home and we lost track of her in a couple of years.

She had been punished severely by her pimp for some time but she was afraid to go to the police because she feared arrest for prostitution. This is just one instance where our prostitution laws are totally useless. They protect no one and do immeasurable harm to real victims.

Our laws against pedophile are a sham as well. Yes, a child must be protected and nothing should occur between people without consent. Under the law Annie's brother broke the law. The older alterboy I had an experience did as well. Ditto for my first woman. I'm glad those events occurred. They were good experiences for each of us. It is interesting that a teacher can expose children to all sorts of information in health class including how to perform different homosexual and heterosexual acts but a parent doing so can be in legal jeopardy.

When we taught our children too abstain as long as possible from vaginal intercourse (until they were old enough to take the pill) she recommended oral and manual stimulation. We also taught them masturbation was a good thing as well. She demonstrated ways to do these things.

Our home is a three story home with the bedrooms on the second and third. In those areas clothing is optional. As a matter of fact rarely worn unless we are heading downstairs or out. As they grew children's natural curiosity has led them to explore and compare body parts. Since I was the only male they were quite curious about "that thing." At no time was the body considered dirty. Even though we often wear cotton under pants for hygienic reasons there was enough total nudity that there was never a sense of shame.

We answered all their questions in ways they could understand. We have a guest room in the cellar. It's really a sexual function room. As they grew the girls were permitted to retreat there with their dates for private moments. Respect for one another is the key to a harmonious existence. Most anything two people do with consent is tolerated (and encouraged). Our daughters return home often, sometimes with their boyfriends or husbands and children. Fortunately, not all at once.

The young women who have pimps and work the barrooms never had this type of start.

One of the most interesting things ever to happen to Annie and me:
The following occurred around 1990. Until a few years ago I took business trips which were a couple of days to two weeks in duration. I was away about a week when I returned a day early so I stopped by the shelter on my way home from the airport. I thought I might be able to take Annie to lunch. Frankly I couldn't wait to see her. After all these years I still missed her from the moment we were apart.

When I arrived she was in a counseling session so I waited in her office. She had a portable phone (the old Motorola lunch box type) there. The only people with her phone number were family members, her best Johns, and the emergency people at the shelter. She was on call twenty-four hours a day in each profession.

I answered the phone when it rang, there was a woman's voice at the other end. She asked for who I was so I told her Annie's husband. Annie being married seemed to surprise the voice on the other end so I asked who she was. She answered Mrs. Roger ********. There was a very long pause when I finally spoke up. I asked if I could take a message. She was flustered at this point. I recognized the man's name and realized this is the wife of a John. I feared the worst. Usually Johns' wives are not happy people. This one didn't seem angry though. Suddenly she began to talk and mentioned they had been married over twenty-five years, had three older children, were happily married, loved one another very much, she went on and on. Finally she blurted out she had known of the arrangements Roger and Annie had. She understood why he went to a prostitute. Because she was not at all sexually motivated and she would like to spend some time with Annie to maybe learn something that might interest Roger. Wow!

Just then Annie came into the office. I gave her the phone and told her who was on the line and why. Cool and charming as ever Annie spoke with her. After an exchange Annie agreed to meet her at our home since that's where she had entertained Roger there a couple of times when I was away and the other woman was familiar with the neighborhood. I did not take part in the meeting which lasted about an hour.

When it was over the two acted like two old friends. They were holding hands as they entered the kitchen (we spend most of our family social time there) and Annie made a formal introduction. Suzy is a beautiful, well conditioned woman for someone her age (50?). Wavy silvery hair, smooth complexion, moderate breasts and slender legs (I size up women the moment I meet them). "Good looking chick," I thought.

Right out of the blue Suzy told me what a wonderful woman Annie is. I agreed.

During the next few days spent some time together. At heart Suzy is lesbian and never before understood the sexual implications of it. I know she and Annie had some intimate moments. She also taught Suzy some of the things Roger like, especially oral sex. She admitted she didn't mind at all doing these things for Roger. Roger knew Annie enjoyed being with a woman sometimes but I don't know if he knew right away about Annie and Suzy's relationship. Since that time the four of us have had some wonderful evenings together. Every so often either Suzy or Annie push Roger and I into doing things together. I think since we have the excuse of doing it for the girls we accept it. I know Suzy has spent time with a couple of our daughters who are also bi.

A phone call which could have been a real sour experience turned into a fun relationship. BTW, Suzy has learned the oral arts well from Annie.

The next story does not have a happy ending.

Tough story..........
I've been trying to find some way to discuss the saddest series of events but it still tugs at our emotions greatly. It is about a young runaway girl, fourteen at the time, who fell in love with a pimp who picked her up at a bus station. She was a virgin at the time and was trying to escape a terrible home situation. The pimp had intercepted her at the bus station. She had little money, one change of clothing and toiletries which she carried in an oversized handbag.

Her escape from home had not been well planned. Her Mom was a druggie and lived with an equally loathsome person. They knew all the schemes of how to milk the welfare system. The man was physically abusive of her mother and had made many unwanted sexual advances toward her as well. Her torment came to a head when the boyfriend told her mother that she had made advances on him. Her Mom beat her severely. That night she stole all the money in the house (not very much, less than a hundred dollars), packed her handbag with a set of clothes and left in the middle of the night. The next morning she purchased a bus tick to our city (she lived in a large city as well). She obviously had a bewildered and disheveled appearance when she arrived at the terminal. To a pimp the sight of her was like blood in the water for a shark.

He approached her, took her to lunch, and was generally charming. He offered her to stay with him until she could find a place of her own. She accepted. When she arrived she found a few other girls living in his apartment, three to a room.

By this time she was frightened and traumatized by the events of the last twenty-four hours. The pimp told her she could sleep in his bed while he was out for the evening with the other girls. They all returned shortly after midnight. The young girl was in bed when the pimp entered. He offered her a massage to relax her, and within a short time had taken her virginity. She was afraid to resist.

The next morning he informed her she could stay with him for as long as she pleased but had to be able to earn some money to help with household expenses. She said she had never had a job and was not skilled in anything in particular. He told her he would teach her. In the presence of the other girls he brought two kitchen chairs side by side, had here sit beside him, placed his hand behind her neck and told her they were in the front seat of a car or the back seat of a taxi.

After opening the fly of his boxer shorts he pulled her head down and forced her to have oral sex on him. The other girls and the pimp laughed at her when she choked on his penis and got a special thrill of watching her gag on his semen.

She was told that was all she had to do and she would be paid $20 each time. It took only a few minutes. He told her he would pay her a portion of the proceeds. That of course was a lie. That night she went with a few men and brought back about $100. She learned that was not enough and was warned tomorrow night she needed to do better.

It was that first night she was introduced to marijuana and cheap wine. By the end of the week she was frightened beyond anything that had happened at home. About two weeks into her odyssey she threw up on a John. The pimp saw her do it. He ripped an antenna from a car and beat her severely. Blood showed through her blouse on her breasts and back. A policeman saw what had happened, chased the pimp away and took her to the hospital. She refused to say anything to either the police or medical people.

The policeman was a regular visitor to Annie. He knew of her double life and called her to see if she could help with the girl. She was brought from the hospital to the shelter where she was met by one of the staff and was allowed to bathe, but that was to difficult because of the open welts. Eventually she was cleaned up and given a warm cotton sweat suit to wear.

The following morning Annie began to deal with her. I don't recall what they did but in a few days she was beginning to respond in a positive way. However, she continued to resist identifying herself, where she was from, who the pimp was, nothing. After a few weeks she was ordered by a judge into a state foster agency. We lost complete contact with her at that point. About a year later we learned she committed suicide. We don't know the circumstances but Annie said she many demons she needed to deal with and they may have been too overwhelming.

One of the things she had revealed to Annie was her fear of saying anything about the prostitution to the police and feared the pimp, if he was in trouble, would finger her with the police. If prostitution was not against the law she may have revealed what took place and had the pimp locked up for a long time for rape and other charges. Her fear of returning home was as great as her fear of the pimp.

Annie says she was a sweet kid and very intelligent. The limited testing she had done on her placed her in the top ten percentile for her age. This is remarkable for someone in such circumstances. Annie says sometimes school work and homework are a diversion so girls like her sometimes totally immerse themselves in anything that shuts out their rotten circumstances.

I think when we discuss prostitution we must be mindful that the prohibition laws against prostitution have consequences. We've met very few street girls who are happy in any way. It is a last resort for them.