Trip Report  - By Neil
Especially of L'merage Bodysage (Burnaby)

Some time ago I sent you an email asking if you knew anything about Kaylee in Vancouver.(where I live) She's independent and does both in/outcalls. She charges $300 (Cdn) for one hour, $500 for two hours and more for overnight or extended sessions and the like. I told you I was planning on seeing her for two hours, since I learned from past experience that you more or less get what you pay for, meaning if you just go for the minimum you could be very disappointed with what you get. You disagreed with me saying that all it means is that you just get more time with her, and as turns out you were right. (at least where Kaylee is concerned) I'll just say that I was VERY happy with what I got from Kaylee for only an hour. 

But I think I should tell you why I thought what I did originally (and I still do, to some extent) and with that I'll give you review of a place I visited in Vancouver. (Naturally all prices mentioned are in Canadian dollars)  Dave notes $US=about .65x $CDN

I visited two massage parlours in Vancouver: L'merage Bodysage (Burnaby) and The Platinum Club (downtown Vancouver on Homer Street) I was looking through adult classifieds in the WestEnder and saw an ad for L'merage which had a special morning offer: (as many in Vancouver do) Bring this ad in before noon as a coupon and you'll get any of our rooms for half price. I remembered visiting a massage parlour in Toronto about two years prior, where I had a 1/2 hour massage for $40, plus another $40 dollars in tips which was enough to get her topless and for her to give hand release and she invited me to caress her breasts. The whole thing cost $80 Cdn in total (yes you read that right), and the massage was very good! (The only down side was she was a middle aged Chinese lady who spoke poor English, so she didn't talk much during the massage, but I didn't really mind).  Dave notes, there are many massage places in Toronto with beautiful women that offer flat fee nude-reverse for $CDN80-140 for 30-45 minutes.  A release is always just assumed with no tip games, just flat fees of $80-140. See extensive reports at

With this excellent Toronto bargain experience in mind, I went out to Burnaby to find L'merage thinking I could get the same. When I finally found it, I went up the stairs of their back entrance. The girl who let me in was the same one working the desk. She couldn't have been much over twenty, had an olive complexion and reddish brown hair. I thought she was Greek, Turkish or maybe Hispanic. She was petite, skinny and wearing a long sleeveless and not very flattering red dress. She didn't smile and seemed sullen and disinterested - not the kind of warm and friendly person you'd expect to be greeting you. I told her I wanted a massage in their standard room which ordinarily costs $60 for one hour, but since I had the coupon and it was still morning I got it for $30. I didn't see anyone else there, yet I was led to believe from their website and ad that I would be able to choose from their "wide selection of international ladies" to give me the massage. After I paid for the room with my Visa, she gave me a robe and towel and directed me to the shower and told me where the massage room was when I was done. After showering, I went into the massage room, lay on the table and waited. I thought the girl was going to get one of the other ladies to do it - a sexier, warmer and friendlier one than they had working at the desk. I must have been waiting fifteen minutes before the door finally opened and I realized that the desk girl herself was going to be giving the massage. Needless to say, she's not the kind I would have chosen to have give me a massage had I a choice in the matter. So how was the massage? In a word, terrible.

She wasn't very good at it and it left me feeling downright sore in the area below my neck and around my shoulders for about a day or two afterward. She said hardly anything throughout (and unlike the Toronto lady I'd previously experienced, she obviously spoke fluent English) and then told me to turn over so she could do my front. She then asked if I wanted anything else. I had several $20 dollar bills in my wallet beside the table ready for "tips" For this, I didn't think it was unreasonable that she might at least get partially naked and allow a little bit of touching. When I asked her, she replied "Oh, wow. Just like that, huh?" This made me feel like a total dork, so I just said nothing and let her finish the massage. When she was done, as I was getting dressed she asked me had I ever been to a massage parlour before and I said yes and she then she explained something about tipping and why it was important to the girls who work there. I said I know and I came prepared to do it. So I gave her $40 tip thinking she might make some last minute offer. I was prepared to pay more even then. But she just thanked me and asked if I enjoyed my massage. I lied and said yes and then left feeling like a ripped off fool.

The lesson that I learned from all this, is that maybe if I had paid for one of their more expensive massage rooms (they have what are called VIP suites that cost about $120, as I'm sure you know) that maybe I'd have gotten better service from someone who was willing to do more. That is why I've had the belief that you get what you pay for and if you're cheap and don't splurge, chances are your not going to be happy with what you get. I'm glad to see that Kaylee proved me wrong, though maybe she too is an exception to the rule.

I realize Vancouver's not your favourite Canadian city and you don't visit it anymore, but I was wondering if you know of anyone else who has visited L'merage and has had a similar experience there, as I would be interested in hearing if theirs was as bad as mine. The URL for L'merages website is I would be happy to share this information with others, if it would be of value. Feel free to reprint this on your website under your Vancouver section if you like, though I realize you don't update that one since you don't visit here anymore. Or if you know of any forums or message boards where this kind information can be exchanged, as the few I know of seem to be limited in scope of discussion (ie; focusing on a particular city only) I would appreciate that if you know of any good ones. I also could review The Platinum Club (another Vancouver massage parlour) where I had a somewhat better experience.

Meanwhile, I'm glad to hear you like it here up in the great white North, and keep coming back, but you might want to let people who visit your website know that while on the whole, Canada might seem more attractive than the U.S. for sexwork, there ARE scams and ripoffs here as well, similar to those you describe in Phoenix and other parts of the U.S. And I suppose it's not really fair of me to say that L'merage is a ripoff just based on my own experience. However, I have heard similar stories on the google newsgroups about Madame Cleo's and The Swedish Touch - two other massage parlours in the Vancouver area where guys paid up to $400 in total, and were still disappointed with what they got.

Take care,

Neil in Vancouver JackFrost on said in reply:
Exclamation Not worth your time..similar experience

A similar experience happened to me there.

I had a coupon, from the buy and sell, which said massage for 40 dollars. It did not say any hours, just special, for 40 dollars. So, one night I went there, and the lady at the desk said it was only for mornings.

Well, it didn't say that on the coupon. So, thinking the price would be high, I decided to not proceed. Then she said she could give me a room for 50 dollars, down from 75 dollars. Sure, why not. 3 girls were working. She was maybe the best of the bunch.

So, she gave me the massage. Not much to it..just a simple rub on the back. Then maybe 10 minutes in, asked me if I wanted anything else..I really didn't at the time, and said I would think about I did..and she asked again..I said I was really just looking for massage. Then she stopped to massage me, and pulled out a cigarette, offered me one, and lit up.

She started to ask if I had been to a place before like this, and they cannot just get in lingerie and do a massage. Thats just not right she said..she said I could go to the bank machine, and she would wait. I said no, ir was okay. Then she waited on the bed, didn't do the massage, for the tip. I gave her a 20, and she said thats what it cosrs them for the room, so it was all good.

Still, very pressing, ladies mediocore, not worth your money and time. 70 dollars for maybe a 15 minute massage.