Diary Of A Sexworker - Escort
Who Happens to also be a BBW

Source: http://www.sizenet.com/asp/showdoc.asp?id=352&from=whatsnew.asp
Use of article under educational fair use provisions of the U.S. Copyright law with full credit and no financial benefit.

I might not send scads of letters to airlines protesting their policies, nor write Lane Bryant for their ridiculousness of using skinny models, but I hold my own on my own fat war front. I'm an escort, as I prefer to be called, and a BBW. However, a rose by any other name is still a hooker, prostitute, 'ho,' or any other euphemism you like to call it. There are a few of us BBW sex babes out there, more jumping into the "world's oldest profession" every day. We compete beside the multitude of skinny chicks for the men who find our figures alluring and our happy personalities addicting.

My name is Lily aka Lady Lily, and I've been a sex worker for over two years. I can honestly press my hand into a stack of Bibles though, and say I wouldn't be on this sex-filled path without the Internet. I've never worked for an agency, nor placed an ad in a newspaper. I'm strictly an Internet girl. I don't walk the streets, have a pimp, do drugs, or feel victimized in any way. I made the decision to enter this industry every step of the way and have not one regret. In fact, you might be surprised to learn that many of us have regular jobs, children and husbands/boyfriends. So next time you visit that bank teller, consider that she might really be 'Vixen Vivienne' on some Web site or newspaper ad somewhere.

My journey started with offering sensual massage. The deal was different then. You spend time hanging online 'til you find the guy that will give you your asking price. Then I would leap into the shower, slash on the war paint, grab my kit bag and run to the car. It was spontaneous then. Harder. I operated totally solo and on instinct without the benefit of any other lady to get advice from... or even as a security check. It was risky because I never knew what I was walking into.

In June '99, I climbed to the next level. I honestly didn't know what I was getting into or how the game was going to change on me. A few months prior to June, I finally connected online with some other ladies in the field, ultimately leading to face-to-face meetings, and finally forging friendships. They were escorts and hearing their stories was intoxicating, their camaraderie was warming and soon seeds were planted in my fertile brain. I had been staunch with my massage clients in not going further. I was, after all I thought, not a prostitute. But I began to consider, what if the fun in being an escort was twice what it was in doing massage. Certainly, the carrot of getting more money for approximately the same amount of work was dangling temptingly between my eyes. I decided I would build a Web site to offer my massage service. As I was building it, I teetered on whether to offer escort or not. After all, it's a daunting prospect of walking into a man's hotel room or home and having to complete the deal, ahem, so to speak. But was it any different than what I'd already been doing? I ultimately decided to offer escort on my Web site and if I didn't like it, I could take it off. A year and a half later, it's still there and the massage rate is long gone.

This escort game was different though. I had to learn new skills and techniques to handle the men who contacted me through my Web site. Nor was it spontaneous anymore. Every appointment was set-up in advance. Fortunately, I wasn't alone anymore... I had a whole raft of new (skinny) escort friends and acquaintances who would answer my endless questions and fill me in on the dos and don'ts of the biz. In fact, in flipping from outsider to insider status, that was my biggest eye-opener of all - how welcoming the other independent Internet ladies were to me. Can I say they're all like that, no. I might have gotten lucky and fallen in with the right crowd, but I never faced anything but support and permission to pick their brains. Locally, we even have girlie gatherings where as many as a dozen of us get together for an evening of fun, stories and wildness. At Christmas, we had our '2nd Annual Ho Down.' On the national level, we large-sized escorts all know who one another are, even if we don't know each other personally.

There's not a one of us BBW Escorts out there that hasn't had to develop a thick skin. I go every day to the discussion boards of the 'hobby' and post my ads, comments, topics. Invariably, I get rude comments posted after an ad and slammed for my size. I have to fight the good fight of being a proud BBW every day in this arena and not let the jerks get me down. Ironically, slamming a lady of size is the last great acceptable prejudice since a guy would never do this if the escort were Asian, blonde or short. Some days, the thought of what I'm competing against takes my breath away, until I remind myself that where I can shine, where I can soar above my thin colleagues, is in service. A simple concept, yet one that seemingly most BBW escorts have caught onto. Reviews about the services of all the queen-sized sexpots are across the board positive.

What makes it all worthwhile are the men I've met. I've had fan letters from across the globe extolling my virtues. More than any other escort I know personally, I get many first timers -- men who overwhelmingly tell me that they've never been tempted to spend time with an escort before seeing me. Gentleman write that they've been searching online for they knew not what until they magically landed at my Web site. I get men who are married to skinny wives but who are fulfilling the fantasy of being with a BBW. BHM who feel more comfortable with me than they would a 115 pounder.

Being considered a walking goddess is quite an ego boost, although I never forget for an instance that the men see the fantasy and not the girl behind it -- fallible and not looking anything like a goddess when she rolls out of bed. For me personally, becoming an escort has been the most empowering thing I've done for myself. And it's spilled over into other parts of my life. I don't accept the men as personal dates who say they prefer BBWs but really only mean in the bedroom and not on their arm in a restaurant. With the confidence I've gained from being seen as a desirable woman and a competent lover, I express myself with more poise and more assertiveness in my work and personal environments. I passionately wish that every woman of size could walk in my shoes for a time and gain what I have gained. Of course, over time maybe a couple of dozen ladies have contacted me for pointers on how to enter the industry, so perhaps more and more BBWs will know. Being a BBW escort allows men access to their preference and displays to society that we aren't ashamed of our sexuality, bodies or to go boldly tread where we've been shut out before.

Can we say we BBWs are truly accepted in society, if we're not also standing proud and tall in all avenues of society -- including the sex industry? I don't believe so. Everyone is entitled to their moral stance on this issue. I'm not trying to sway anyone to the good or bad, but just tell one woman's story of being a fat chick in the prostitution pool of lean ladies.