Sexwork Cyber Center
By Dave in Phoenix
PO Box 55045, Phoenix AZ 85078-5045

Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality

Thailand Intimacy & Healthy (Adult) Sexuality Research Report

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Go-Go Bars for Meeting Women Overview 
My Preferences & Availability in Bangkok

The biggest problem I had in Manila/Angeles City this spring (as I discuss in great detail in my Manila report at was finding the bars/clubs with seating that allowed me to do my "intimacy" thing. Basically I very much like to nicely touch women, cuddle, stroke arms, face, hands, give back and neck massages and lots of warm but non-sexual touch. Many women tell me my touch is very different from the typical groping and trying to "feel up" that most bargirls get very tired of. In my experiences in the U.S., Canada and Asia this touch I enjoy giving is often very much enjoyed by bargirls even when I am not buying them drinks or barfining them.

Yes, I also do enjoy sex!  Some people accuse me of only liking touch, but I very much enjoy sensual sexuality over "just" hot, raw sex.  And no, it's not because of the picture to the right that some folks think might be me!

I've been professionally trained in Esalen massage and lead couples massage workshops at swing conventions. Many women say "hey, you really know what your doing" vs. all the guys that just paw her. Not trying to brag, just share what I enjoy. If I get a great intimacy response in the bar often (not always) they are also more intimate sexually when I barfine them. Just raw hard sex isn’t nearly as enjoyable to me as real intimate sex, which is more like "girlfriend for a few hours" type sex that many other men also enjoy.

I hate bar stools, but seek seats where she sits next to you so she can cuddle etc. Yes I am a cuddle freak. While many bars in the Philippines, I quickly left if all they had was bar stools. Happily I did not find that a problem in Thailand. In fact most of the bars in Thailand had more of my favorite cuddle seating than bar stools.

Of about 12 women I enjoyed a "girlfriend experience" with, all of them reacted very favorably to my intimacy and touch, massaging them etc., once I broke them out of their sex mode, which they all started into as soon as we hit the bed!  A larger problem in Thailand was the language barrier, but I could effectively communicate by good touch, a universal language.

A big advantage in Thailand over the Philippines is short term barfines and encounters at very nearby short term cheap hotels was easily available. I didn’t find anyone in Thailand I liked well enough to bring back to my hotel for all night. Unless she is really special, I sleep better alone and prefer some privacy at night. This aspect was much better in Thailand, since in the Philippines all the bars I visited only had long-term (all night) take out on the menu :)

Another thing I liked in Thailand was there was less of the "giggle" factor. While the girls in Thailand were all very happy and playful, they seemed a bit more mature overall than the typical giggling bargirl of PI. I think the reason for this is the typical PI girl is much shyer about her body and more repressed sexually from their Catholic background vs. being much more comfortable with bodies and sexuality of Buddhism in Thailand.

Being September, it was still the slow season.  There was a huge imbalance of so many bargirls per customer

Even one night in the rain there were a fair number of customers at Nana but just like on non-rain nights, the ratio seems like 10 or 30 bargirls per customer.  It was a similar situation at the Soi Cowboy gogo's.

That is nice odds for us, if you don't mind being attacked at once by a swarm of women in some bars. But it  must be very hard on the bargirls who want to be active and competitive but also "Asian nice". Just like in PI I did find once I made a clear selection the others nicely left us alone and were very friendly to me and the "selected girl" even though rejected. That of course is nice to see.

While in some bars, you had lots of company, at others you had to make the first move to select a girl, invite her over and offer her a lady drink.  Then if the chemistry felt right you might choose to barfine her either short term which typically was 1-2 hours, or long-term which is for the night.  Once I got into it, I would make sure 2 hours was agreeable and I used a short term hotel instead of my own nicer hotel to go and get to know her as a "girlfriend" or receive "special services" (see legal discussion section).

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