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Dave in Phoenix
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Promoting Intimacy and Other-Centered Sexuality
Philippines Intimacy/Sex Research Report
Manila
Bargirls Travelogue Part 1
My initial
visit to Manila - First Time In Asia
EDSA Entertainment Complex – Pasay City (Manila Metro area)
First Visit
The complex is a group of five dancer bars, a Karaoke bar
for the Japanese who enjoy sing a longs with a hostess, plus a snack area in
the middle. Most of the clubs have
touts yelling for you to come in to their club. It is across the street from the expensive Heritage Hotel and
Copacabana where I stayed on my return to Manila after about a week in Angeles
City.
My Fair
Wow, so many very attractive dancers who swayed and wiggled
to the loud noise (some call it music).
My Fair is the largest and most dramatic of the bars in the Complex. It
has two stages with a bridge between where dancers also stand and sway. Above the right stage is a pole that the
girls slide down from upstairs to get on stage.
But I never figured out the best way to get to meet someone of my choosing. The Mamasan asked me if I wanted a girl. But in watching others it seems that if you do, they come to you at random from an area off to the site. You don’t get to pick a particular girl. Although, I suppose you could, I didn’t know at the time so just observed since this was my first bar experience in Asia.
The bar was very crowded and the music very loud. A bunch of Filipino sailors in whites were there, but no one seemed to be doing any selection of particular dancers to meet.
Firehouse
Lots girls standing around but they weren’t aggressively
asking men for lady drinks as far as I could see. Most of the standers around
weren’t that attractive compared to the dancers on stage.
They had
nice booths but it was very crowded. I
really didn’t want to sit directly by the stage so wasn’t sure what to do. One girl must have sensed my confusion and
insisted I sit by her by the stage. She
flirted and almost begged me to take her out to my hotel. But she was a bit too
overweight for me and not that attractive, although nice. I wanted to meet other girls but couldn’t
seem to escape from her. This was often
my problem throughout the Philippines, I’d get stuck with one gal, who was
nice, but who I didn’t like well enough to barfine, but she would keep staying with
me forever, with me only buying one lady drink (cost about P125 ($US3.29). As I
later found out often my only escape was to leave the club and move on the next
one. Who you “got” when you first
entered you were often “stuck with” it seemed, without being too direct and
telling them “go, leave!” After awhile I left for the next club after finishing
my diet coke.
Pitstop
Another club with very attractive dancers but I was still confused
on what was the best way to meet a girl of my choice. I’m more use to U.S. and Canadian clubs (and later I found in
other clubs in the Philippines) where the girls approach you. As I later found out, I preferred and could
handle the “mob scene” of women after you, better than the more laid back
approach at EDSA. They had nice booth
areas but mostly all taken. The bar
stools were the only easy choices.
Social
Custom Game at Pitstop
I had
read about the culture and social customs where making eye contact and smiling
(but not staring) is the best way to meet people. Of course this also makes sense in other countries! I like to look dancers in the eye and smile
to try and make a personal contact, not gawk at their body.
I
noticed one attractive dancer at Pitstop with a particularly nice smile sort of
looking my way. I was on the first tier
of elevated bar stools above the seats at the lowest level, if that makes sense
for those that know the club. I wasn’t
sure if she was really looking at me or not, or could see me trying to small at
her from afar. But then she started
laughing and making funny faces. Maybe
I’m looking foolish, I ‘m not sure! She
also started laughing, I guess about me, with the dancer next to her. OK, what am I doing that is so funny? Hope I’m
not offending them…maybe looking too much in their eyes…so don’t do so as much.
At the
end of their time on stage, they sat in the chairs beneath me. In fact the dancer and her friend made a
point to sit directly in front of me.
When they turned toward me their heads are about even with my feet! Then both of them started rubbing my legs
with their hands. I sort of reached
down and we all seemed to enjoy holding hands and stroking arms to the extent
we could from quite an awkward position for a long time. Their hands could reach about to me knee. Many women say they enjoy my smooth hands
so this was not unusual for me.
OK, now
what? It appeared only dancers were
allowed in these lower level chairs.
Later it appeared this wasn’t the case, but all the chairs were filled with
dancer bodies at the time. I noted the Mamasan
a long way away, joking with dancers etc but too far to get her attention to
maybe help old Dave in knowing what to do to meet these dancers. The only way I could have talked to the
girls would have been to lie under my table!
I had hoped they might come up to meet me. Soon it was too late as a
couple young Filipinos walked over the girls and invited them to their booth in
the booth area. I had no available
stools next to me to invite them to.
But it was an interesting first interaction in Asia. I didn’t see any other mating of customer
with dancers going on although there were girls with guys in the booths.
It
seemed that I was about the only non-Filipino in the club. And I seemed to be
by far the oldest man there. Very
different from Angeles bars, where most of the men are tourists and I was about
average age.
I
finished my one diet coke and moved on.
Feeling
A Little Discouraged
I was
starting to feel a bit discouraged. All
these attractive sexy dancers but old Dave is too awkward or shy to figure out
what to do to meet them. I also noted
the loud music and was starting to realize Filipino English, if they speak much
English at all, was hard for me to understand based on my interactions with
hostesses, the girls who bring you drinks, etc.
The
Cotton Club Annex?
The
Cotton Club had some very good reviews on the Internet when I did my
research. But it had s sign on the door
saying “Closed by Mayor”. Most of the other clubs I hadn’t visited yet had
mostly poor reviews.
I
noticed some attractive women in evening gowns near a stairway. As I approached the women tried to get me up
the stairs. At first I thought it was a
restaurant, and I really wasn’t looking to dine! While I am good at resisting all the cabbies offer to “find me
nice women” and the beggars and touts on the street, with my slight
discouragement I was at the mercy of the nice women taking my hand and leading
me up the stairs, to what I wasn’t sure. But sometimes I’m brave!
It
turned out to be a great decision! It
was an adjoining part of the Cotton Club with pool tables, dance and bar area
to I guess more just hang out in separate from the club. I was told since Cotton Club was closed some
of the dancers were hanging out here.
There was music but not as blaring as in the regular clubs. There were even a couple older, non-Asian
men like me there!
The nice
lady that led me up the stairs asked the usual standard questions and then said
“wait here I have to go for a few minutes, I’ll be back”. I
was sitting with her at a table, not the bar.
Jennifer
& Janet
In a few
minutes two very enthusiastic gals sit at my table. I’m not sure if I’m “taken”
by the first gal since she said to wait and she would be back. However, I assumed she was just the tout and
had sent the other two girls, Jennifer and Janet up to be with me.
Jennifer
was only 18, but very slender, nice face and started sharing hand touch with me
immediately. She seemed to very much
like the non-sexual touch interaction as I did. She even kissed me nicely. She had just started at the club, was from
the provinces and spoke virtually no English!
But good touch is a great language.
One of my intimacy fetishes is I enjoy loving caressing a girls
face. But I’m careful since while most
women like this some don’t. When I
started to test the waters with a face touch, she took my hand and held it
against her face very much seeming to enjoy it. Definitely my type of gal from a good touch intimacy connection
standpoint. She couldn’t seem to keep
her hands off me, which was fine with me.
It was all non-sexual touch not the groping and grabbing of sexual body
parts that some of you might think or prefer.
While
Jennifer was a bit shy, except for touch (and lack of English) Janet was the
opposite. Very bubbly, jumps into my
lap, does lap dance, lays my head against her breasts, and also seems to enjoy
touch but not nearly as intimate as Jennifer.
Janet is more sexual and a bit older, but I much preferred the more
intimate interaction of shyer Jennifer even if almost too young for my tastes.
Over the
next hour or so, I bought them both two lady drinks (P175 each I think - $US3) to go with my … one diet coke. After a long time together on the two lady
drinks for each, they started having a long enthusiastic discussion in
Filipino. It sure seemed to be about me!
A couple
times the older Janet would ask Jennifer a question, which I assume was related
to whether she was interest in being barfined by me. I hadn’t offered yet, but
by the good interaction I was obviously interested. Perhaps my drooling gave me
away! Jennifer would look at me, smile, and obviously say something
affirmative. It turned out that
Jennifer was brand new and had never been barfined before. Janet was her
mentor. After getting lady drinks, the
girls would get stubs to turn in for their share of the drink cost. Jennifer would give her stubs to Janet. Didn’t seem like she was being forced to,
she just wanted to have Janet handle everything. This may have been the standard training program!
Finally
Janet (whose English I could understand with only minor difficulty) asked me if
I wanted to take Jennifer home with me for the night. I said yes, and Janet was
very good in a discussion of the mechanics of cabs to my Ermita Hotel, that she
would be able to just take a cab back in the morning etc. This was my first barfine experience as well
as Jennifer’s, and Janet was really very nice and helpful.
The
barfine was P750 (US$19.73) for all night to take her to my hotel. My tab for all the drinks and including the
bar fine came to P1580 (US$42) for a great time at the bar and to take Jennifer
home. I also gave Jennifer another
P1000 ($US26) tip in the morning. I
understood from my research that a tip in the morning of P500-P1000 is what
makes for a “happy bar girl” from EDSA or Angeles City. While I settled up the bill they went off
together talking a lot and Jennifer changed into street clothes.
We took
a cab for P100 (US$2.63) to my hotel. I
know, I could have haggled with the cab to pay less. But I detest haggling and I’m sorry I wasn’t about to do it to
save a dime or two! Remember no tips
just $2.63! I’ve never been anywhere
with such cheap taxi fares. Even if I
could of haggled for less, I don’t care!
I was a bit concerned about having
any problem with bringing in a guest.
But the doorman/securities guard greeted us and she didn’t have to
register. We just went right to my
room.
Jennifer was just as warm and responsive to my touch in bed
as at EDSA. Her body was very nice,
especially when naked next to mine. She was somewhat sexually shy and modest
and I took it very slow with her. I
enjoy slow long sensual sessions so this was great it seemed for both of
us. She wasn’t I’m sure a Cherry girl,
obviously had sexually experience but didn’t seem nearly as enthusiastic about
sex as she was with intimate touch. But
with her not speaking any English I couldn’t communicate with her, as I like to
have girls share what they are feeling emotionally. Also sharing real feelings isn’t the Asian way culturally. But it was a very good first barfine
experience.
Many more experiences to come in Angeles City, Makati and
more in Pasay when I returned to Manila