Sex Work Cyber Resource & Support Center
Promoting Intimacy and Positive, Healthy, Consenting Adult Sexuality

Intimacy At Los Angeles Hostess Clubs / Strip Clubs 

Introduction of my Intimacy Interest in Hostess Clubs and some Strip Clubs

I visit clubs as a social experiment and I am sort of a intimacy addict since I've seen so many positive reactions.   I am not interested in gawking at bodies or being teased.  I enjoy sex, but only if it also includes a high level of physical intimacy not just rubbing together body parts.  Over the years  it seems I have developed some non-sexual, high touch intimacy skills that many dancers and other women seem to very much enjoy.  From E-mails and meeting other men, I find more and more men are enjoying their more intimate side and I publish my own very personal experiences to perhaps help others who might benefit from my sharing so openly.  Many men have written me who have been helped and that is what motivates me to update these types of reviews.

There are many different important types of intimacy including physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, etc. I am only discussing physical intimacy, which to me is loving caring touch and is different from "sex". To me it is stroking women's body gently not groping, using massage to have her melt in my arms, cuddling, snuggling…lots of things many macho guys may think is sissy stuff.  But it is what I enjoy and many women seek more than just great thrusting, sucking, groping or grabbing of body parts that most dancers tell me too many men want from them. For other men that might enjoy such intimacy I share my experiences of many years at and in this report.

Here is a perfect example written by a high mileage seeker in hot clubs in San Francisco on 1/30/00 about a dancer at Chez Paree:  "While this was almost the tamest dance that I have gotten here in SF, it was also the warmest.  This was the kind of lap where a bit of a connection is made, memorable for the interaction on the emotional level rather than simply physical. I'm glad I met 'Kitten' here." 

I am not the only guy that appreciates such human instead of just physical interaction and have received many E-mails from other like minded guys.!  But as some men have told me they often don't talk about is in public since it's not "macho" for a man to be so intimate and not just a high mileage sex seeker.

My enjoyment of Phoenix clubs ended 12/98 when the City of Phoenix decided that hugging and cuddling was so dangerous to our morals it just had to be stopped. Strip dancers can't even hug a customer when both are fully clothed since those dirty nasty breasts would touch the man's chest. How horrid. On stage she can't even touch her own breasts. That would endanger children and our morals in an adult only club. Instead strippers may only be viewed as pure sex objects to tease and titillate for the enjoyment of men to stare at with no positive human touch interaction.  These types of laws are getting passed all over the U.S. with the help of well organized religious right groups.

When I went to Phoenix clubs prior to the 12/98 law change,  sometimes the Hostess even had to take waiting lists of dancers wanting to be with me for my high-touch intimacy.  I know it was real, since I have never tipped a dancer in Phoenix, yet I was very popular even though they were not making any money off me.   I only say this, not to brag but it shows the lack of good intimacy skills in our culture with all its tease and titillation but fear of meaningful intimacy. So many dancers told me that they wish I could teach their husbands or boyfriends good touch. No, not every women likes my touch, so I have developed various test the water techniques and back off very fast if I feel any women isn't seeking the kind of good touch intimacy I enjoy.  But I also find so many women that react so wonderfully and I enjoy sharing something that they actually find meaningful vs. the typical "grab and grope"  many dancers say is what they experience from too many men. 

I discuss more of my particular intimacy interests and try to share specific techniques extensively in the original report as well as in my report on San Francisco strip clubs.

Some may just think I'm bragging but as anyone knows who has seen my extensive writings at or should realize, I have a passion to share ideas with other men who might also enjoy high touch intimacy which would be appreciated so much by so many women.  

BTW, I am not a good-looking young stud.  I'm 53, graying older man with a bit of a belly.  So it is NOT my looks but my touch that I get so much good response from.   Any man can do the same.  It just has been my interest and passion for years and I enjoy experimenting with it with a wide range of attractive women. All over the world the positive response is the same.  However, I constantly find its U.S. women that are not as responsive vs. virtually all foreign women I meet. For more of my view as to the reasons why see U.S. vs. Foreign Women - Huge cultural differences found - especially intimacy response differences.

If you are  just looking for "hot babes" to grope and get sex from,  this report is NOT for you.  While at many clubs more sexual activities may be possible I don't report on this since this isn't my main interest and exposing these activities creates law enforcement risks that could ruin the level vs. intimacy sharing that is available.  A number of clubs have been forced to close due to guys wanting and providers very willing to be more sexual than the restrictive laws allow.

Our sick society is so obsessed with sex but is one of the few countries in the world with such legal repression of actual human contact, we can't discuss sexual services openly.   Other countries are so refreshing where expressing sexuality isn't a crime.

It is always a battle between adult women very willing to share more sexually with the many men that seek it vs. the games that have to be played to avoid clubs from being shut town or having people arrested for simply seeking to share as consenting adults sexual pleasure.  

Pleasure sharing is a big crime in the U.S. vs. most of the rest of the world.  Somehow the religious agenda folks think this protects neighborhoods and children - to have more sexually unfulfilled men on the streets the results of which are often more aggressive behavior and sexual harassment.  But it would be just too dangerous in the religious agenda's view to have men with more smiles (i.e. Thailand the land of smiles), who are happy and fulfilled.  That would just be too dangerous for our culture.

In the reviews to protect the guilty I intentionally am not being too explicit. But there was no direct (penetration) sex seen or experienced at any of the clubs. Clothed penis stroking was the most I got but I didn't really try to get more. Most of the clubs have cameras which are monitored by management. But at one of the clubs a dancer who knew management said the manager had fun watching whatever sexual action might occur and made porn movies from the clips recorded by the tape connected to the camera.

Typical Hostess Session Strategy and Terms
Unlike in strip or nude clubs where I sit with my arm across the chair next to me invited a dancer to come into my "nest" at hostess clubs it is like a High School Dance. All these guys standing or sitting in the men area (separate part of the room) staring at the women who sit on display on benches or seats.

I miss being able to meet a dancer and talk first, or having a dancer approach me since not all young women like old men like me. There are also so many men that just stare all night and don't get up the nerve to approach women. I use to be very shy but I got into a routine of approaching women I had a good feeling about, introducing myself and asking, "can I couch with you?"  I got many laughs from that, but I would think that would be a common joke others would have thought of.  A couple girls have commented how they liked how I introduce myself instead of just saying "you" or "lets go" like many men do.

In later trips I usually did invite the girl to dance first, since dancing is a good way to get introduced and see how responsive she is to my touch, doing a bit of back massage, etc. But since I'm so tall (6-2) my back gets sore bending over to be more on her level so I than suggest couching it.  

I find couches which all the clubs have, are much better suited for both intelligent discussion (much quieter) and my type of intimacy. Thrusting pelvis's together in dancing just does not do anything for me - but I am the unusual man I realize.

Location and Safety Concerns
All the LA clubs (but also many in City of Industry) are located in the downtown area. At first I was worried about parking and safety. However, I was pleasantly surprised since it seemed the streets were quite safe with little activity other than a few panhandlers asking for money. Each club except one had a private parking lot with security guards. I stay at a Ramada Inn to the West of downtown which actually seemed to be in a more dangerous area with gang type looking folks walking the streets. But the Ramada had its own secure parking and was quite nice. The only problem is I had to wake up the security guard each night to let me in since they lock the front doors at midnight.

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